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Searching for Myself
Martin Cosgrove
Beyond the appearances, the labels and the roles, I am searching for myself. Beyond the facts, the body and the soul, I am searching for myself. Always digging deeper; sometimes fast, sometimes slow, but always digging. Mining for my Self in the pit of personality; A dim lantern held flickering before me. Only my instinct can tell me if my direction is true, Or forever would I be changing course in a dazed confusion. Is it time to throw away my spade and sit? Enter fully into my self-created darkness. Feel it suffocating me. Feel it. Tar-like, it envelops me with its slick molasses of suffering And I allow it to be; to engulf me without resisting. And then Light! Glorious, endless Light! Pouring in and dispersing the gloominess of it all. It melts away the blockade, Like a veil lifting for the first time. And there I am! Where I am always. Now my eyes are open to receive the Light. I had blinked for a millisecond and decades passed. And I take a breath, Preparing for the next blink of my eyes. Not knowing who will experience the next reopening, Nor how many years will have passed for worldly me. They close once more and I am searching for myself.

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