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Fibromyalgia & Me
Destiny Ramirez
It all started,January 9th,2010. It was just like any other day. Until my mom got a phone call around 10:00 pm,I thought it was my sisters calling or maybe a friend..But when I heard her scream devastated,and full of pain. I knew the phone call had to be bad news on the other side. She repeated the words “No”. Myself at the time was laying down in my room ease dropping,listening to music. I didn't like what I was hearing. I then heard footsteps walk into the living room. From what I heard my mom say to my dad was,”Auntie Nina died”. After hearing what she said I wasn't in shock until it hit me after a couple of minutes. Then when it did I cried. My aunt was a loving person never did I expect her passing away. She was a strong,intelligent,spiritual person. After a couple of tears running down my cheeks my heart felt as if it stopped pumping blood through my body. It was a despondency,but I knew God had a purpose to take my aunt. “He may take many people in our lives but we must believe they are with us in spirit. That is what makes us strong inside and out”. Wise,but loving words I never understood them growing up. Growing up for me was pretty hard I lost my close grandpa when I was 8,my grandma when I was 10,and now my auntie Nina. Yes it was horrible and devastating to loose those people close to me. But you know what they always say,”If you love something set it free.” And I tried doing so through those years growing up. So to cope with all that has happened, I wrote poems,songs,and listened to music that calmed me down,whenever I was sad. That helped me a lot. It was hard and hurting me deep. I didn't even know with all the grief I was holding in,killed me slowly inside. In late February I started to experience unusual pain in my left elbow. I was home schooled and went on campus Monday through Thursday. The pain wasn't ordinary. I was certain I hadn't felt the pain before. It was like a pounding sensation,more so like someone hitting me with a hammer. I couldn't ignore it. I had to rub my elbow. After rubbing it for a couple of minutes,the pain went away. It was a relief. I set my arm beside me,hours went by. When It was time to move. My arm was in pain still,the pain now was a burning sensation. And I wasn't adjusting well to it. I couldn't move my left arm. It was hard, the day went on and the pounding,and burning sensation went away. When I got home I immediately told my parents about my unusual pain I felt in my left arm. My mom believed it was tendonitis . My mom had carpal tunnel/tendonitis awhile back. And she kept her elbow brace. She put it on my elbow and at the time I wasn't feeling pain but it was bound to come. I did notice when pressuring my elbow I didn't feel any pain,but after releasing pressure to the elbow I would feel massive pain. This went on for a couple of months and each day the pain would worsen. Some days I would wake up with no ability to walk. This was hard for me because I had on-site classes I had to attend,but I was missing. This was a mystery to me. My mom searched everywhere and found nothing that could help me. The pain didn't stay in one spot,to me it felt like it was traveling. It started with my left elbow,but then I felt pain in my wrists,fingers,hip,shoulders,upper arm,and lower back. My wrists would cramp. My fingers would tingle. My hip would ache to the point were I couldn't walk. My upper arms would tighten. My shoulders would ache I had to constantly move them. And my lower back had mild pain. I kept complaining to my mom and she just decided if nothing was helping she would take me to my primary care doctor. The first time I went to the doctors and explained the unusual pain I was feeling in my left elbow they told me I may have fallen,or strained a muscle in a certain way. But this pain felt like no bruise,and I knew I hadn't strained no muscle. But I just went with the doctor told me. I was con-fuddled. The second time I went to the doctor was for my wrists,they sent me again to get x-rays they thought I had arthritis in my wrists. No show of arthritis in the x-rays. The forth time was the last time going to the doctors my hip was hurting me very bad. The pain was worsening and I couldn't take it I was stuck in bed crying and there was nothing my parents could do. So I went to the doctor and explained how it worsened within the months. They sent a referral to Madera childrens hospital. My date April 9th,2010. Months passed and I was inpatient. Then April came and I was counting the days. When the 9th came along I was ready. So my mom and I left the house early in the morning before the sun rised. I was scared but prepared for what I would be told what was going on with my on and off pain. When we got there the Rheumatologist spoke with me and wrote down notes on my pain. Well after checking all the main parts of my body and pressuring my tender points. They diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia. I was not aware of the disease but shocked from the diagnoses. I didn't know what Fibromyalgia was? It was all new to me and all I can think of is how I'm going to get through it. My mom told me my auntie Nina had the same disease. But she was already gone. I couldn't call her or ask her questions. Driving home I cried and it felt like a dream. I never wanted this to happen. When I got home I went straight on my laptop and researched more on my Fibromyalgia. I found out my answer to all my questions. I found out why I was experiencing pain all over my body. The Rheumatologist told me I had 15 tender points. For a patient to have Fibromyalgia they must have 11 tender points or more. Fibromyalgia also causes many other problems. After my diagnoses I was getting a lot of support from my mom. Teachers at my school were very supportive as well. The first month of being diagnosed was hard cause my pain would come and go. But I was experiencing insomnia,morning stiffnus,horrible headaches,problems focusing on one thing. Insomnia was a big trouble with me. I see a childrens therapist and she helps me with my fibromylagia. I did have to change my diet,exercise. I wasn't immune to all the exercise I had to do,but it all fell into place. This whole experience was pretty challenging for me. I'm just a teenager but after doing it repetitively I got use to it. This diagnoses changed my life It was an experience and friend I will stick with for the rest of my life. And it does get better but in time. God has blessed me with many things in my life,but this one test he has given me is the best. I know it might sound crazy but you start to love your disease. Once you get use to all what you have to do. It gets easier it has for me. And I had set goals before being diagnosed with fibromyalgia,and those goals haven't changed. I know there's a purpose for everything. And my faith is still strong. I'm a healthier person. I do yoga,ride my bike,walk my dog. And its all a wonderful experience. Yes some days are horrible and other days are peaches and cream. But everything never has a happy ending. But today I have learned everything has expectations to it. And everything doesn't always go as planned but for me everything fell into place. I'm more active. I'm a happier person. I guess what I'm trying to say is. You can do anything. Don't let a medical condition get in the way of your life. I see depth,blind overweight,underweight people. And I come across to myself wondering they must feel hurt inside,or maybe even lonely. I felt the same when I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I know I'm different from others on the outside but we are all the same on the inside. The people I see striving to make a difference in the world inspire me to keep going from where I am. I'm not going to let this disease bring me down. I'm still the same person that was born in California, I'm the same person who dreams of being a Forensic Scientist. Nothing changed one bit about me. I do have those days where I don't want to get out of bed and travel the journey ahead of me. I just want to stay in bed and keep dreaming. But I push myself,sometimes that is the best thing to do. Fibromyalgia is a hard disease to deal with your very sensitive to the weather change,perfumes,bright lights. I have been through it all. And it was hard when It all came but I was pretty prepared. I was nervous at first when all this happened. But keep your faith. Be strong don't ever doubt yourself. Live like there's no tomorrow,love yourself and love others don't let anyone bring you down you are you and don't push yourself to be like anyone else. God made you for a reason. Love life with the fullest. I guess my message to all of this is. Even myself don't let this get in my way of living my dream. The Blind, it's not hard you have people surrounding you and no one is left behind. The overweight,underweight you were brought to the earth to love yourself. Not doubt yourself. The depth don't loose your faith if you can show an example of love and loving the world as if you were God himself people will admire your courage you have. As I write this I believe anything is possible when you put your mind to it. “No human living on earth should doubt,they should love.” -Destiny Ramirez

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