Another night rolls around and the usual banter begins.
Cheak jokes about small things and cheap shots at each other;
The shameless flirtation almost effortless.
Suddenly we are swept into the mess of your alcohol induced honesty.
Her name is mentioned for the first time and I am now inadequate next to the inadequate.
Until this point I did not realize that half of who I am is how you perceive me;
How my entire self image relies on your sliding scale of judgement.
And so I have been judged,
Have been deemed unworthy of waiting all these years,
Ironically as I am on the brink of turning to you,
Ironically as I learn that the empty space between my fingers is a perfect match for yours.
And, of course, I can't really blame you.
But I finally learned to see a future as you have begun to place me in your past.
I can only hope that you place me in the safest place in the back of your mind,
Free from harm,
And one day take me out,
At least to examine,
And carry me with you always.
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