These are my suicide dreams – January 14, 2008
I wake up in the middle of the night.
Body covered in sweat.
A room without a light.
My hearts racing.
Theres blood dripping.
Once again im torn in two.
The nightmares are over.
All I have are dreams.
Nothing more than my suicide dreams.
Some nights ill dream of just sitting in the park.
No ones around me.
Im all alone in the dark.
Just when everything seems so right.
I think I finally have a chance.
Then the pain is back.
A razor blade to the wrist.
Helps me forget all that I have missed.
A bullet through the throat.
I hold it in and try not to choke.
Tied up in the trunk of your car.
Don’t ask me how I got there.
I aint gonna go far.
Pop a few pills.
Maybe ill be able to sleep.
Hanging from a noose.
So high I should just jump off the roof.
I have these suicide dreams.
Not only one, sometimes two or three.
These dreams don’t go away.
There with me every night.
Sometimes I drown in my own blood.
Other times I pray for a flood.
Hoping the water will erase my past.
Wash all my sins away so I can start over.
I dream of hovering over my body.
Swimming in a sea of needles.
Each one of them plugging a pore on me.
I envision one of those gang shootings.
Only this time with a little twist.
Instead of everyones guns pointing at eachother.
There all pointing straight at me.
Everybody pull the trigger on the count of three.
I have these special little thoughts.
These are my suicide dreams.
These are my suicide dreams